Anyone Out There? I'm Back

I have no idea if anyone is still here as I haven't been here! I linked up my Instagram feed which is where I live the most, just posting pictures of my now THREE-year-old. (Seriously just updated the sidebar from one-year-old to three-year-old).

It was funny, last night I was trying to find a picture I had posted on the blog to illustrate a sad day. I hadn't thought about the blog in a long time. I had definitely become one of those people that I didn't used to understand: those people who, like me, had abandoned their blog. I felt a little guilt but mostly I was just surprised that something that had been so important to me and such a huge part of my life that I enjoyed (I heart documenting and accountability and sharing and all that good stuff) no longer fulfilled me. It had gone from feeling like this amazing outlet to this amazing burden. It made me go huh, I guess I have changed. And looking at the blog now I'm like wow. My 20's were just so dang cute. Look at that travel! Look at all those books I read and recipes I made! That's just precious.

I'm halfway kidding. I have always said that I love each part of my life and my 20's were no different. All that "going out." And the corporate ladder climbing. All that binge drinking. Good times for SURE. But I found myself in such a different place pregnant with Beckett. And once I had her in my life I wanted to channel all of my energy to her, especially once I quit the job that - like the blog - had been so dang important to me and just wasn't anymore.

I have thought about blogging again here and there, but I kept going ugh, I don't want to have to do the dreaded obligatory update post where I look at the last almost two years and pull pictures and figure out what I did and blah blah blah. Then last night I was looking at my blog to find that one picture and found myself just enjoying it and laughing at some of the stuff I posted and just how much I didn't give a shit. It made me want to post again. And it made me go who says I have to do that annoying labor-intensive post to say hi again? No one.

I can just say Hi! I'm back for now to say hi and to likely post about losing weight as that's really what got me blogging in the first place and being fit remains important to me. I'll also post about:

• Food: things I dabble with like paleo & 21-day fix
• Working out: what's working; what's not
• My fitbit: dang that thing makes tracking easy; knowing me I'll post daily stats and, at least at first while I try to lose weight, will post numbers because I'm that way and I like numbers
• Organizing : everything from the values-based intentions that I'm working on to the optimal weekly schedule; how I build in 'me time'; which authors are inspiring me to do all of this to live intentionally and not by what other people ask of me.
• Secondary Infertility: probably not a whole lot about this as it's a painful subject, but honestly it's been a big part of why I've struggled with my weight . . . since having Beckett I have had two losses (20-week baby boy October 2014 and 9-week baby girl November 2015). I don't know about you, but when I want to be pregnant I'm not worried about losing weight... then when I get pregnant I'm not worried AT ALL and feel entitled to my own personal pizza.. then when I have these losses I feel empty and fat and demotivated as I want to try again but have to wait and so on and so forth. I would like to break this cycle as I know I am simply more happy with myself when I weigh in my 120's. Not because of the number, but because I've discovered that that number correlates with a body that feels slim and strong and active and healthy. I'll do a post about this later but for now I managed to get back to 127 after the first loss, then got pregnant again and got myself back to 127 again - but I teeter up to 131 a lot and would like to buckle down and get and stay in the 120's through nutrition - preferably whole foods as I'm finding that my beloved carbs truly upset my tummy and they affect my daughter as well!

Obviously other things will be sprinkled in - books, recipes, Beckett (duh) but I really want this blog to be more about my personal health journey. K - out for now. Here is a pic of my family simply because I hate to post without at least one picture.